The worst day ....

Onwards and onwards. After a comparatively restful stay in Nuwra Eliya (despite no sleep) we leave early for the drive to Kandy, the cultural capital of SL. We have allowed all day, but again we weren't really prepared for it. 98kms and 6 hours of pain.

Duncan woke complaining of stomach cramps, but proceeded to tuck away his usual yoghurt and fruit breakfast so I have to confess I didn't take too much notice. However after the 20th hairpin bend he began to look a bit green and it went downhill (pardon the pun) from there. All my previous comments re driving in SL still apply, but this version of "chicken" has a couple of new additions - mountains and roadworks. So please add in contractors, heavy equipment, tar machines, landslides, hairpin bends, steep drop-offs and a healthy dose of testosterone. I mentally "tune out" and look at the countryside which is breathtaking - like Switzerland in summer. In the distance I can see the most enormous buddhist temple - it's beautiful. The serenity is shattered by needing to pull over for DY to vomit - luckily or not in the middle of a roadstop town so I manage to get anti-acid tablets and tissues from the pharmacy. Nothing we can do except get him there. Still two hours to go.

Arrive in Kandy and this is when the driver from hell kicks in again (now known between DY and I as Elvis - dyed black hair, big black shades, fag constantly at hand). What we didn't realise at the offset is that this guy had plans for our itinerary which weren't run past us! These plans include taking us to businesses run by his mates at which he gets a kick-back every time we purchase. Not realising this or quite how dreadful DY was feeling, when he suggests a quick stop at a silk factory I say yes. I look for 5 mins and then go back to the car and DY looks like he needs to be admitted. Resisting the driver's protestations that we need to go to the gem museum I insist that we go straight to the hotel.

The Hotel Suisse overlooks the lake at Kandy and again is grand in it's pretensions and again the rooms are awful, but soundproofed. I put Dunc to bed with gastrolyte, draw the curtains and take a pleasant walk around the lake. I then get Elvis to take me back to the silk factory and buy up pressies for my European relatives. He insists on taking me to the gem museum even though I say no. Needless to say I sit through a very interesting film on gem mining and then get disgracefully "sold" to!!! It is so overt it's embarassing. After the movie I'm taken to a room full of gem stones and information about them - again interesting, but when I try to leave, my "guide" won't let me, because next stop on this magical mystery tour is the stone cutting and there's a bunch of japanese tourists already there. I play the game and am shuttled through stone cutting and jewellery making where I nod my head regularly. Finally downstairs and I have to look through every cabinet (25) before I can even attempt an exit. This is actually enjoyable - the raw cut stones which are cheap as chips - topaz at $US2 a carat - girls let me know if you want anything. I'm now flustered as I dislike a) overt salespeople, b) being put in this situation, c) feeling like a fraud because I know I'm not going to buy anything. Get outside and it's hot - it only ever gets to 32 degrees here but the sun has a burn to it. Jump in the car - won't start. Elvis gets very technical with a rock bashing something and we soon attract a small crowd. I launch my umbrella and sit in the shade. After 20 mins I'm ready to jump in a 'tuk tuk' and leg it but we get going and despite Elvis's protestations that I need an Ayurvedic massage and that he knows somewhere with a good price (I have visions of the Arak bar but with ladies), I insist that he takes me back to the hotel and resist his offers to take me out for dinner.

Back in the hotel room I'm greeted by the gloom and Dunc still seriously sick. Feed him another gastrolyte and am feeling really quite depressed. Don't fancy another 3 days with Elvis and his tricks nor any more of SL's hotels. Am considering cutting and running back to Colombo.