Fashion vs Modesty

In Sri Lanka, the number one fashion accessory is not Gucci handbags, or Prada shoes but a much more available item - plain old fashioned modesty. Given Western social norms which seem to work on the principle of 'if you've got it, flaunt it', modesty is an accessory which seems outdated, and even though readily accessible we are hard pressed to know where to 'purchase', even if we want to.

Prior to departing for Sri Lanka I put a fair amount of thought into my wardrobe trying to take Sri Lankan social norms (as guided by Lonely Planet) into consideration. Out were several 'normal' items of clothing (normal for the Northern Beaches of Sydney that is!) such as mini-skirts, skimpy dresses and non-existent t-shirts. In were some rather dowdy long-sleeved light-weight tops, long trousers, etc etc. I even went to the extent of purchasing a dress from an upmarket travel shop which was so demure I felt that sainthood would be immediately impending.

Within a week of hitting Colombo, and still 'green' about social customs, I went for an exploration (shopping) in my oh, so demure dress. Now before going further I should describe this dress. It is black, made from 'travel' material, (which means it can be washed and will dry in abou 10 nanoseconds), is crossover so has a v-neck, sleeveless, and comes to mid-calf. St. Alicia, here we come (or so I thought). So feeling very 'virginal' and armed only with my umbrella (for the sun - I'm a local now), out I went.

I realised very quickly, that my Western notion of modesty was way off the mark. After being verbally accosted (a fairly reptilian hising sound) for the 2nd time in 200 yards, my focus turned to the v-neck of the dress which I realised revealed more than a little. When I strode down the street, the dress folds separated and onlookers received what can best be described as an eyeful. And don't even get me started about the effect that bare arms have on seemingly rational males.
Looking around, I now truly saw the women around me for the first time. What had previously presented to me as an endless apparition of beautiful creatures in the most beautiful and varid concoctions of saris, western attire, or shalwars (pants with a long top and scarf) I now realised are all highly coloured, decorated variations on a theme - fashionable modesty. Very few of these outfits expose 'body parts', and 90% of Sri Lankan women (except those socialising in Western hotels), are fully covered by their attire. Even those in western clothing wear skirts that usually cover them to their ankles. The only notable display of flesh is such a common occurence that no-one bats an eyelid despite a fair amount of midriff being exposed by sari's.

So whilst I had been dazzled by the sparkles (everywhere) and the colour and the sheer variety of sari's and shalwars, I had failed to notice the common theme of modesty. But now that I have, it has been fairly easy to adapt my wardrobe accordingly, as the shops are full of beautiful and cheap outfits. And a real bonus is that Sri Lankan women really take kindly to you making the effort to conform to their dress standards. I have since purchased two shalwars, and when I wear them, or even western versions (a long top and trousers, minus the scarves) they are always very complimentary. I haven't gone the 'full monty' and bought a sari yet, but I'm contemplating it.

But you can't please all of the people all of the time - a friend of mine and I have had a myriad of conversations (some heated) about the topic! But what she sees as my betrayal (giving in, or conforming), I explain to her is my choice (that oh, so western notion and perogative). Because to me it is about 'conforming', but 'respect'. Respect for local norms, local culture, local customs. And let's face it, as well as 'fitting in' it's probably not a bad thing for all concerned - I'm not getting any younger! Modesty prevails.