Monty Python does Japanese

I am thinking of writing to the Comedy Council of Australia and requesting that they send a delegation to Sri Lanka to gain material for their next year's worth of performances. This place is a hoot! The Sri Lankans on the whole are beautiful, quiet, laid-back people with a well developed sense of humour and the ability to laugh at themselves. But sometimes when cultures meet it just goes horribly wrong i.e. our experience with local staff at a Japanese restaurant.

Bear in mind what I've just said about the Sri Lankans and then add to that mix a Japanese restaurant in Colombo. So in true Colombo fashion, this restaurant (which is well renowned), is down the dodgiest, darkest alley with piles of stinking rubbish and mangy dogs everywhere. Duncan and I brave it as the alternative is to cook for ourselves (heaven forbid!) and finally reach what looks like an oasis of tranquillity. Bright illuminations, white exterior through which we can see a serene scene of water pools, coy carp, trees etc.

Reassured we enter and are greeted by a team of circa 10 waitstaff who let out a bloodcurdling cry of : "BONSOWA-RU" in unison. I am so surprised I nearly fall into the carp pond (you have to watch where you're walking as these ponds are everywhere), but compose myself as I realise that I'm not surrounded by bloodthirsty warriors about to brandish samurai swords at any moment, but a few Sri Lankan waiters who are just saying "hello". We are shown to our table, seated etc, all good stuff. Except every time a new patron crosses the threshold (approximately every 20 minutes) we go through the same process. I have to try really really hard to keep a straight face and not degenerate into giggles (I knew I should have ordered a large Saki), and we leave an hour later, nerves more or less intact. Obviously these normally very quiet, laid-back, placid waitstaff have had it absolutely drilled into them that they must greet every customer this way but it is farcical. The Japanese customers don't bat an eyelid.

Postscript: We go and investigate The Hilton (always good to see how the other half live), and surprise surprise they have a Japanese restaurant. Being the eternal glutton that I am I want to peruse their menu, so walk through the entrance and guess what happens??? You got it, "BONSOWA-RU MADAME" delivered with just as much gusto. I bow my head and make a gracious exit, but not out of good manners, but to get out of there before I burst into hysterical laughter ....